SETTING: CLIFF AND HIS PALS ARE AT THE MALL WHEN SLOARCH AND THE EVIL GANG OF MONSTEROUS GOURDS COME ALONG AND START SLASHING THE BILLY GANG OF SUNS.
STICKY SAM: AH! I'VE SLIPPED INTO ANOTHER PILE OF GROSS PUDDING AND GUM!
TIK-TIK: OH! POOR SAM. LET'S WASH HIM OFF WITH SYRUP AND BEES.
THEY STICK ALL OF THESE FLAMING MAD BEES TO SAM AND HE IS KILLED.
BEARD-BEARD: I'VE GOT A BEARD, STACKED BLOCKS!
MEAT-MEAT: GIVE ME SOME HEARTS. AG! THE BEES HAVE LEFT SAM'S SWOLLEN CARCASS AND GONE FOR MY LUCIOUS AND JUICY BODY INSTEAD! GOODNESS BEANS!
SOREHEAD: I HOPE THAT YOU ARE KILLED.
TOK-TOK: HELP ME I'VE BEEN MOONED. BUTTS EVERY WHERE.
STEADY FACE: HEY LOOK MOKO, THEY HAVE A STORE CALLED "PIGS GALORE AND SO MUCH MORE!"
MOKO: AIKA! PIGS! I MUST HAVE PIG MEAT!
MOKO BEGAN DROOLING AND LOOKED LIKE A GRIZZLY WOLF. THEY ALL DINED ON BEUTIFUL PIG MEAT THAT NIGHT.
MOP-MOP: I AM THE COURAGEOUS ONE OF THE GANG. WATCH: I'LL LEAP OFF OF THIS CLIFF ONTO THAT BROKEN GLASS SCULPTURE FARM.
SO MOP-MOP LEAPED OFF OF THE CLIFF AND WAS NEVER SEEN AGAIN.
THE NEXT DAY MOP-MOP GARGLED BATTERY ACID AND THE PALS FOUND THIS OFFENSIVE SO THEY CUT HIM UP.
MOOK-MOOK: AH! I HATE THIS WORLD! GIVE ME ALL OF YOUR ATOM BOMBS GUYS!
SILLY SICAMORE: WHY DO WANT OUR BOMBS MOOK-MOOK? YOU AREN'T GOING TO BLOW UP THE UNIVERSE, ARE YOU?
MOOK-MOOK: WHY NO. UM, I JUST WANT TO... COLLECT 'EM. I'VE GOT QUITE A COLLECTION GOING.
SO THEY GAVE MOOK-MOOK THIER BOMBS AND SOON THE GALAXY WAS NOTHING BUT A SACK OF DEAD STUFF.
SETTING: THE NEXT DAY, THE PALS WANTED TO PLAY LAWN DARTS. THEY SPENT MOST OF THIER TIME SHARPENING THEM SO THEY WOULD GET THE MOST PERFORMANCE OUT OF THEM.
MUHAMMID AND LEPRACY GUY WERE GETTING THIER DARTS FROM THE RING. BEAN BREATHE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A FUNNY TRICK TO THROW HIS DARTS WHILE THEY WERE IN THE WAY. MUHAMMID CAUGHT ONE IN THE BACK AND THEN A SECOND ONE KNOCKED HIM OFF OF HIS FEET AND TORE OPEN HIS LEGS. LEPRACY GUY WAS KILLED INSTANTLY.
MICK-MICK: HEY PECOS BILL! HEADS UP!
SUDDENLY A SWARM OF LAWN DARTS CAME SPEEDING TOWARDS PECOS BILL. THEY SLICED THROUGH HIS WATERY SKIN AND POKED OUT THE OTHER SIDE.
LORK-LORK: HEY GUYS! LOOK! A METEOR!
THEY ALL LOOKED UP INTO THE SKY AS LORK-LORK POURED STEAMING GASOLINE INTO THEIR UNDIES.
MEAT-MEAT: I DON'T SEE A METEOR!
LORK-LORK: HERE IT COMES!
WHEN THE METEOR CAME IT BURNED UP THIER UNDIES AND LORK-LORK WATCHED HIS PALS DO A GREAT DANCE FROM THIER HOT BUNS.
TOOT-TOOT: HEY GUYS! HOW MANY OF YOU DO YOU THINK I CAN KILL WITH ONE DART?
MISCELLANEOUS GUY: I SAY ONE OF US.
THE REST OF THE CROWD AGREED WITH MISCELLANEOUS GUY. TOOT-TOOT STARTED RUNNING AROUND STABBING EVERY ONE UNTIL THEY WERE DEAD.
TOOT-TOOT: I GUESS YOU GUYS WERE WRONG! GUYS? GUYS?
SUDDENLY NINJAS EXPOSED THEMSELVES FROM THE TREES AND BEGAN THROWING KNIVES AT STACKO-STACKO.
STACKO-STACKO: HEY NINJAS! CUT IT OUT! PRONTO!
SO THE NINJAS LEFT. THIER FEELINGS HAD BEEN SERIOUSLY HURT.
SETTING: THE GUYS ARE AT THE POST OFFICE. THEY ARE EXPECTING THEIR NEW WATER LOGGING UNIFORMS. SUDDENLY A NEW GANG OF GUYS WALKS BY. IT'S THE MYSTERIOUS WASTEBASKET CLAN! THERE WERE DUCKS IN THE POND AT THE NICE SUNNY PARK, THEN THE MYSTERIOUS BOOKSHELF KLAN CAME RUNNING THROUGH THE PARK TEARING UP THE GRASS AND THEN STOPPED AND SAID "WERES MY TRIKE. I LEFT IT HERE! RIGHT HERE AT THIS EXACT SPOT. SUDDENLY THE LEADER OF THE BOOKSHELF KLAN STARTED TO CRY AND THEN THEY LEFT.
MUHODIUM: THOSE GUYS WERE WUSSES LETS RUN AFTER THEM AND SLICE'UM & DICE'UM.
TOK-TOK: CALM DOWN MUHODIUM, ITS OK.
MUHODIUM: CAN'T I JUST KILL ONE OF THEM, PLEASE.
JOK-JOK: OK, BUT JUST ONE OF THEM.
MUHODIUM PICKED OFF ONE OF THE SLOW ONES WITH PLESURE.
SNAKE: WERES SOME MICE OR FROGS OR EVEN JUST SOME POOP.
CROCKPOT: I NEED A OVEN MY STEW IS GETTING COLD. THIS STUPID BEEPING PARK.
SUDDENLY A GIANT TELEPHONE CAME FROM OUT OF THE SKY AND CRUSHED THE POST OFFICE. IT SENT THEM ALL FLYING INTO THE AIR AND THEY ALL LANDED IN A PILE OF SHARP ONIONS.
BUTT-NOLE: HEY! ALL OF YOU GUYS THAT LIKE TO HEAR ABOUT POOPIES! GATHER 'ROUND! I'VE GOT A WHOPPER OF A STORY TO TELL! ONCE WHEN I FOUND A BABY SAPO MEL, MY FOLKS SAID THAT IT WOULD GROW UP INTO A GIANT LEECH AND SUCK OUT MY BRAINS AND BITE THE SKIN OFF OF MY FACE. WELL, I FED IT LOTS OF FOOD. WHEN IT GREW UP, IT SUCKED OUT MY PARENTS' BRAINS AND BIT THE SKIN OFF OF THEIR FACES.
EVERYONE BEGAN TO CALP. NO. EVERYONE BEGAN TO CLAP AND BUT-NOL STOOD UP. THEY CHEERED AND CARRIED HIM OFF IN A GIANT BOOK SHAPED STROLLER. SUDDENLY NATIVES APPEARED AROUND HIM. THEY BEGAN POUNDING ALFREDO'S BLADDER SO HE WOULD PEE. ALFREDO STUNK UP THE ROOM WITH AN ENORMOUS CHEER FROM HIS BUNK.
MICK-MICK: ALL WE NEED IS A REALLY BIG BONGO DRUM. THEN THE DAY WOULD BE SAVED. SO REMEMBER GUYS, ALL YOU NEED IS YOUR FLESH. EVERYTHING ELSE IS JUST AN ILLUSION.
EVERYONE STOOD UP CLAPPING AND SOON CARRIED MICK-MICK OF TO THE SACRED ARTERY LAND. ALL OF HIS PALS WERE THER AND THEY HAD HOPED HE WOULD BRING JUICE. BUT HE FORGOT.
WIG FACE: OSH! MY WIG IS BITING MY FACE OFF!
WIG FACE GOT HIS FACE EATEN BY THE GIANT WIG THAT KEPT GROWING AND DEVOURING MORE FACES. SOON EVERYONE HAD THIER FACE CHOPPED OFF AND FROM THEN ON NOBODY IN THE WORLD HAD A FACE. THEY JUST HAD GROSS BONES AND BLOODY ORGANS DROOLING OUT OF THE GAPING HOLE IN THE FRONT OF THEIR HEADS.