SETTING: A SICKLY FAT MAN IS ON A PARK BENCH READING THE PAPER. ALL OF THE PALS COME BY AND START KICKING HIM WITH CLEETS. IT WAS REALLY FUN UNTIL THE GUY PULLED OUT A SONG FROM HIS POCKET. THE SONG FOUGHT THEM BACK AND HALF OF THEM WERE SLAIN. MUHODIUM PULLED OUT HIS AXE AND SLICED OFF ONE OF THE SONG'S WINGS AND IT SANK TO THE GROUND. HE SLICED ONE OF ITS LEGS OFF AND THEN TOOK A HUGE BITE OUT OF HIM.
MINGO MAL: I HATE THE ELVES. THIS IS ALL THEIR FAULT.
SUDDENLY HEAVY PINECONES FELL OFF OF THE ROOF AND SQUISHED MINGO MAL AND LEPRACY GUY TO A PUDDLE OF FLAPPING OOZE.
STEAM-STEAM: WE'LL GET YOU ROOF! YOU SQUISHED MINGO MAL AND LEPRACY GUY TO A PUDDLE OF FLAPPING OOZE! WE DIDN'T LIKE THAT.
THEY ALL PULLED OUT SUCTION CUPS AND CLIMBED UP THE SIDE OF THE HOUSE.
THE ELFINEER: AH! THE ROOF IS FIGHTING BACK!
THEY ALL WERE GETTING BEAT UP FROM THE ROOF AND WERE LOSING THE FIGHT. MUHODIUM PULLED OUT A SLEDGE HAMMER AND POUNDED A HUGE HOLE INTO THE ROOF. INSIDE WAS THE SMURF'S RAQUETBALL COURT. THE SMURFS LOOKED UP AT THEM AND THEN PULLED OUT NUNCHUCKS. THEY SUDDENLY GREW WINGS AND FLEW UP TO THEM AND BEAT THEIR MINDS. MUHODIUM SLICED ONE OF THE SMURF'S ARMS AND IT GREW BACK INTO A TENTICLE AND WHIPPED HIM IN THE FACE, SCARRING HIM FOR LIFE.
LEPRACY GUY: AH! I'VE LOST ANOTHER FINGER.
MARCO: TELL US ANOTHER STORY PAPA SMURF!
PAPA SMURF: OK, ALL GATHER ROUND!
THEY ALL SAT INDIAN STYLE IN A CIRCLE AND LISTENED TO PAPA WIGGLE HIS BEARD.
PAPA SMURF: ONCE WHEN I HAD FOUND A BIG BALL OF ACID DIRT, I FED IT TO BY BROTHER AND HE FILLED UP WITH AIR AND FLOATED AWAY. EVER SINCE THEN , I HAVE ALWAYS SLURPED UP CREAMY BOATS.
SUDDENLY PAPA SMURF TURNED INTO A DRAGON AND ATTACKED THEM. HE FLAMED ON THE PALS. THEY THOUGHT THAT IT TICKLED AND BOUNCED UP AND DOWN.
STICKY SAM: AH! THERE ARE SCORPIONS STUCK TO MY BUTT!
POO-POO: OH! POOR SAM, LETS WASH HIM OFF WITH ANGRY LEPRACHAUNS.
STICKY SAM WAS MOBBED BY ANGRY LEPRACHAUNS. THEY TORE OUT HIS HAIR AND BIT OFF HIS ARMS. THEY STUCK SWORDS INTO HIS ABDOMAN AND BLOOD AND PUSS POURED OUT OF HIS ORPHACES.
BONESTORM: HERE IS A BIG JUICY FAT WREATH FOR YOU. BUY IT FOR TEN BUCKS OR I'LL ATTACH ANOTHER ARM TO YOUR FORHEAD.
WUSSY WAN: AHH! THE AIR IS HURTING ME!
TIM-TIM: SHOPLIFTING IS A VICTOMLESS CRIME. LIKE PUNCHING SOMEONE IN THE DARK. YEAH! WAHOOO! WOO! WOO! WOO! WOO! WOO! WOO!
TIM-TIM WIGGLED HIS ARM IN A CIRCULAR MOTION BESIDE HIS HEAD WHEN HE SAID: "WOO! WOO!"
SETTING: BUSET BAG AND MARF-MARF ARE STORMING INTO THE PRESIDENT'S OFFICE BECAUSE HE STOLE THEIR PAPAS.
MARF-MARF: GIVE US BACK OUR PAPAS AND SELL US SOME MILLS!
LITTLE MILLORK: DON'T TRY TO TAKE ME AWAY! I KNOW THAT YOU ARE ALIEN PIRATES FROM THE PLANET PUNKING ZARKOL AND YOU WANT TO FEED ME RAT BUTTS FOR ALL OF ETERNITY! I'M NOT CRAZY! HEE! HEE! TALK ABOUT A GOOD TIME IN THE CITY!!!
PRESIDENT McMICKMIK: ALL RIGHT BOYS, YOU HAVE ME THERE, WE ARE ALIEN PIRATES BUT WE ARE FROM THE PLANET SLOSH WOSH JOSH. LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO CAPTAIN BURT.
A SKINNY WUSS GUY CAME IN AND HE HAD A STRANGE BEARD THAT HAD BEEN SEWN TO HIS FACE AND LEGS. THIS ODD PIRATE WAS A BUFFALO.
CAPTAIN BURT: I AM CAPTAIN BURT.
THEY SUDDENLY FELT SICK, PROBABLY FROM THE COMOFLAGE ICE CHUNKS THEY FOUND IN THE STREET. THEY RAN OUT AND PUKED ON THE RUG AND THEN SMEARED IT WITH RAGS SO THAT IT WOULD STAIN BIG TIME.
Lower case johnno: ahh! this is the pits.
STICKY SAM: OH GROSS! THERE IS A PHONE OVER THERE! HOW REPULSIVE AND DISGUSTING!!!
THEY ALL BEGAN PUKING AGAIN AND PLAYING TRUMPETS. WALKING LETTERS AND NUMBERS SURROUNDED THEM, THEY WERE WAIRING SOMBREROS AND DANCING.
JOE-JOE: HEY GUYS, I TRIPPED ON MY SHOES AGAIN! SOMEBODY CUT OFF MY FEET.
MUHODIUM SMILED AND WHIPPED OUT HIS AXE AND SLICED OFF JOE-JOE'S FEET.
JOE-JOE: AHH! MUCH BETTER.
HORL-HORL: HEY BEAT THE BONE GUY!
THEY ALL LOOKED AT THE SKELETON THAT WAS QUIETLY SEWING A CAP TO THE WALL. THEY ALL HATED THAT BONE GUY.
INDEED THERE WAS A BEATING AND SOON THERE WAS PIECES OF BONE SMEARED TO THEIR FISTS.