SETTING:ALL THE PALS ARE DEAD.

MILTING JAKE: WHAT IS THE GROSSEST THING YOU GUYS HAVE EATEN?

TANGO-TANGO: I ONCE RAN OUT OF CEREAL SO I HAD A BOWL OF SPIDERS. INSTEAD OF MILK, I USED KETCHUP.

SICKLY MEL: I ONCE TOOK A BITE OUT OF A DOG.

KILLER-KILLER: ONE TIME I HAD A CRAVING FOR ZIPPERS AND WITCHCRAFT. I ENDED UP EATING MY OWN HAIR.

SIMPLY BILL: ONE TIME I BEGAN TO EAT MY TOES. I JUST KEPT EATING UNTIL ALL THAT WAS LEFT OF ME WAS MY NECK. IT WAS FUNNY.

SIMPLY BILL HOPPED AWAY LEAVING BLOODY CIRCLES WHERE HIS NECK JUMPED.

MICK-MICK: ONCE I ATE A HAIR SANDWICH.

TICKLISH BILLSON ONCE I ATE A NAKED DWARF. HIS NAME WAS WILLY.

KIK-KIK: ONCE I ATE A SWEATY RABBIT.

YELLOW BEAST: ONE DAY I DRANK A GALLON OF WATER. I LATER FOUND OUT THAT IT WAS URINE.

TYLER WIG: GUYS WANNA BUILD A TREE FORT OUT OF STONES?!

PIG-PIG: ONE DAY I ATE A BUCKET OF ANCHOVIES THAT HAD COME OUT OF A CAT'S DIAPER.

CROCKPOT: I ONCE ATE SO MANY LINCOLN LOGS THAT A TOWER FORMED INSIDE ME. I HAD TO BE CAREFUL WHENEVER I MOVED SO I DIDN'T KNOCK IT OVER.

STICKY SAM: I WAS ONCE STUCK TO AN ELEPHANT'S BUTT. THE ONLY FOOD I COULD REACH WAS WHATEVER THE ELEPHANT HAD EATEN THE WEEK BEFORE AND SQUIRTED OUT.

TIMMY THE DONKEY: ONCE I WAS DRINKING VINAGER. I POURED RAW EGGS INTO IT AND PATENTED A CEREAL CALLED, "VINAGER-EGGS".

GORGORATH THE DESTROYER: ONCE I ATE A HUMAN SKULL.

MUHODIUM: I ALWAYS EAT SKULLS.

MUHODIUM WALKED AWAY CRUCHING ON TIMMY THE DONKEY'S CRANIUM. TIMMY WAS CRYING OUT BLOOD.

SICKLY MEL: RAWWWWWWWWWW! OOOOOOOOOOOOO!

VICIOUS DISHES: ONCE I WAS FORCED TO EAT A BOWL OF MUSTARD. BUT HIDDEN INSIDE WERE ROLLED UP CAKES OF MUD AND BANDAIDS.

SUDDENLY THE PALS BEGAN FLICKING EACH OTHER'S EARS AT THE SPEED OF SOUND. THIER EAR DRUMS BURST AND THEY ALL BLED TO DEATH OUT OF THEIR EYEBALL SOCKETS.

SETTING: ALL OF THE PALS ARE AT HOME BECAUSE IT IS RAINING FROGS.

HORL-HORL: I GOING TO HURL!!!

MUCUS: HEY GUYS! DO YOU HAVE ANY UNUSUAL TELEVISION SHOW IDEAS?

TOOTH-TOOTH: YEAH, I ONCE MADE A SHOW CALLED "NO, I AM NOT MADE OUT OF YOUR BRIEFS." IT WAS STARRING FROTHOR McBOMPUS AND HE PORTRAYED A WALRUS THAT WAS ALWAYS BEING TEASED ABOUT THE CLOCK TAPED TO HIS FACE.

MICK-MICK: I ONCE MADE A SHOW CALLED "HEY! LET'S ALL LAY EGGS IN PUBLIC!" IT WAS ALL ABOUT RESCUES DEALING WITH HENS. I WAS THE STAR.

PUKER: I ONCE MADE A SHOW CALLED, "GHOST PIRATES OF FUN." IT WAS A KIDS SHOW THAT TOUGHT KIDS HOW TO DEAL WITH THE SITUATION IF A PIRATE COMES TO THEIR DOOR AND OFFERS TO TAKE THEM ON A VOYAGE.

BWORF-BWORF: I ONCE MADE A SHOW CALLED," LET'S PUKE ON THE SKINNY GUY!" IT WAS STARRING CHRIS FARLEY AND PETER VENKMAN. THEY HUNTED GHOSTS ALL DAY LONG AND IT ALWAYS ENDED THAT THEY FOUND ANOTHER OF THEIR LOST BROTHERS.

RUMBLER: I ONCE MADE A SHOW CALLED, "FARTING IS A HEALTHY CHOICE." IT WAS A STORY ABOUT ALIENS THAT WOUND UP IN A TENT AND WERE TRAPPED THERE BECAUSE THEY WERE ALLERGIC TO LIGHT.

DWORK: I ONCE MADE A SHOW CALLED, "BURNING PEDESTRIANS ARE GOOD ROLE MODELS." IT WAS STARRING FOUR LEPRECHAUNS THAT COULD ONLY BREATHE IF THEY HAD THEIR SNOUTS IN EACH OTHER'S SHOES. IT ALWAYS ENDED THAT THEY FOUND SMUGGLERS IN A CAVE AND TRAINED THEM TO FORM AN ARMY OF DEATH.

MUCUS: OK, THAT'S ENOUGH IDEAS. I HAVE MY OWN TALK SHOW AND IT STARTS IN ONE MINUTE.

SUDDENLY THEY APPEARED IN A STUDIO AND THE AUDIENCE WAS ALL OF THE PALS. MUCUS WAS THE HOST AND LEPRACY GUY WAS HIS ASSISTANT. SUDDENLY TRUMPETS SOUNDED AND THE SHOW BEGAN.

MUCUS: OK! WELCOME TO THE MUCUS SHOW. OUR FIRST GUEST IS ABE LINCOLN!

PAUL SHAFFER: I'M PLAYING A KEYBOARD.

ABE WALKED IN AND SAT DOWN.

MUCUS: OK ABE, THERE IS A RUMOR THAT YOU HAVE BLUE SKIN, IS IT TRUE?

ABE: NO! LOOK AT ME! DO I HAVE BLUE SKIN?

LEPRACY GUY: WELL, IT IS A BIT TOWARDS THE AQUA COLOR BUT I'D PROBABLY NOT SAY IT WAS BLUE.

MUCUS: SO, WHAT NEW MOVIES ARE YOU STARRING IN THIS YEAR?

ABE: UM, DEATH LORDS PART 6.

THE AUDIENCE WENT WILD AND STARTING HITTING EACH OTHER.

ABE: I'M ALSO STARRING IN "THE HUGGY SOFT BEARS MEET THE KIND BAND OF MUTANT SAVAGE AND EVEN BLOOD THIRSTY WEREWOLVES."

MUCUS: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR OF HOUSE PAINT?

ABE: CAMOFLAGE.

MUCUS: HOW MANY PEOPLE DO YOU KNOW NAMED HOOP FORP?

ABE: THAT'S MY MIDDLE NAME. I KNOW SEVENTY FOUR THOUSAND PEOPLE.

KING RUG: SO HOW AM I ?

MUCUS: SO YOU WILL BE PERFORMING A SONG FOR US RIGHT?

ABE: YEAH IT'S CALLED "I HATE LIFE YOU RAT!"

ABE STOOD UP AND PULLED OUT A TUBA AND SOON HE HAD BLASTED OUT THEIR EAR DRUMS. ABE LEFT.

MUCUS: OK, OUR NEXT GUEST TONIGHT WILL BE BONE GUY.

BONE GUY WALKED OUT AND THE AUDIENCE WAS ENRAGED. THEY LEAPED FROM THEIR SEATS AND POUNDED HIM UNTIL THEIR FISTS HURT. THEY ALL SAT DOWN AGAIN.

MUCUS: OUR NEXT GUEST IS BLASPHEMY BEARD THE PIRATE.

BLASPHEMY WALKED OUT AND THEY CHEERED. HE SAT DOWN.

MUCUS: SO WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF INSECT.

BLASPHEMY: ARR, MATEY! IT BE THE SEA WOLF! YES IT BE. ARRR.

BLASHPEMY PULLED OUT A GAZOONKA HORN AND SOON PIRATES SWARMED THE STAGE. THERE WAS A HUGE BRAWL AND EVERYONE WAS KILLED.

SETTING: ALL OF THE PALS ARE PREPARING FOR WAR AGAINST THE APE MEN. THEY ARE GATHERED IN TWO LONGS LINES IN THE MIDDLE OF A FIELD.

ELASTOID: OK, WE NEED WEAPONS.

ELASTIC EARL: WE'RE BROTHERS!!!

SOY-SOY: I AM A SEER OF THE FUTURE. WE WILL WIN THIS WAR AGAINST THE APE MEN WITH SWORDS MADE OUT OF OUR BRIEFS.

ALL OF THE PALS EXCHANGED GLANCES THEN TOOK OFF THIER BREIFS AND STARTED WHIPPING THEM AROUND.

THEY BEGAN WHOOPING AND HOLLERING LOUD BATTLE CRIES. THE APE MEN SEEMED SCARED BUT THEN CHARGED INTO THE BATTLE WIELDING THIER CHAIN SAWS.

THERE WAS A VERY SICK SOUND AS THE CHAIN SAWS TORE THROUGH THE PALS FLESH. BLOOD RAINED FROM THE SKY AS BODY PARTS FLEW ABOUT LIKE CONFETTI.

MUHODIUM: THIS BATTLE IS SWEET.

GORGORATH THE DESTROYER: I LOVE SEEING BLOOD, EVEN IF IT'S MINE.

GORGORATH THE DESTROYER CUT OUT HIS OWN HEART WITH HIS BRIEFS SWORD AND WATCHED BLOOD SPRAY ABOUT.

SKINNY WIG: LORD! I HAVE NO BODY PARTS ANYMORE. SOMEBODY LICK ME!!!

THE BATTLE WAS A MASSACRE. THE APE MEN LEAPED ABOUT WIELDING THIER MIGHTY CHAINSAWS. ALL OF THE PALS WERE DEAD ACROSS THE GROUND.

RUDY ROOTBEER: I REALLY LIKE FLAPJACKS.

THE PALS SEEMED PISSED AT SOY-SOY FOR HIS WRONG PREDICTION.

SOY-SOY: OH WELL. MAYBE MY VISION WAS OF LASER SWORDS, NOT BRIEFS SWORDS.

SETTING: ALL THE PALS ARE BECOMING PIG MEN.

WIZARD MICKY: WRINKLY WET WIZARDS DO NOT SMELL FAVORABLE.

BLASPHEMY BEARD: ARRR MATEYS, THEY BE PIGMEN, ARRRR. LETS GO ON A VOYAGE LADS! SHIVER ME' TIMBERS, ARRRR.

THEY ALL CLAPPED, BUT THEY WEREN'T SURE WHY.

MILKY SAM:YEAH, A VOYAGE ON THAT SHIP!

THEY ALL LOOKED UPON A MASSIVE BLACK BOAT ON A NEARBY OCEAN. THE NAME OF THE BOAT WAS, "THE MAGIC BATTLE BOAT". THEY PALS UNANIMOUSLY DECIDED THAT A BOAT WITH SUCH A NAME MUST BECOME THIERS. THEY BOARDED IT AND SET OFF ON A VOYAGE.

PIRATE GRAKOS: LETS LOAD UP THE BOAT AFTER WE LEAVE OK?

SO AFTER THEY LEFT OUT TO SEA, THEY LOADED UP THE BOAT.

ORANGUTANG NICK:WE SHALL NEED CLUBS AND STRING, NOTHING ELSE.

THE PALS SHRUGGED AND LOADED THE BOAT SO FULL OF STRING AND CLUBS THAT THERE WAS NO ROOM FOR THEM OR FOOD. THEY JUST TIED THEMSELVES TO THE SIDES OF THE SHIP WITH STRING.

WOMBAT-WOMBAT: LETS HEAD FOR THAT WRINKLY ISLAND OVER THERE! INDEED!

THE PALS WIGGLED THEIR BRAINS AND BREATHED OUT OF THIER SKIN.

SIMON: I AM THE MIND. I OWN YOUR BRAIN. MINDS BELONG TO ME.

PIMPLE PIMP: I WANT TO ATTACK YOU, BUT I'M TIED UP SO I CAN'T REACH MY WEAPONS. DANG.

WHEELCHAIR-BUB: INDEED, MY WHEELCHAIR IS TIED TO ME. OTHERWISE I WOULD RUN YOUR BONES OVER WITH IT.

IT WAS A SORRY DAY INDEED, FOR NO BRAWLS COULD HAPPEN. THEY WERE TIED UP TOO TIGHT.

STICKY SAM: I'M NOT TIED UP... BUT I'M STUCK TO THE BOAT ANYWAY.

MALLET MOUTH-MOUTH: WHAT'S THIS? WE'VE LANDED ON AN ISLAND!

THE PALS'S SHIP ROLLED ONTO THE TROPICAL ISLAND. THE ROPES BROKE AND THEY BEGAN TO BRAWL IMEDIATELY. THEY ALL DIED.

(to be concluded in "jacket hair and the sweaty wierdos")

SETTING: ALL THE PALS HAVE JUST LANDED ON A TROPICAL ISLAND AFTER A LONG SEA VOYAGE. THEY ALL BRAWLED AND KILLED EACH OTHER.

MICK-MICK: OK, FIRST OF ALL, WE NEED A SET OF RULES FOR THIS ISLAND COLONY.

GORGEOUS TIM: FIRST RULE: I AM BEAUTIFUL.

MUHODIUM: SECOND RULE: YOU DIE.

MUHODIUM WHIPPED OUT HIS AXE AND SLICED OFF HIS BEAUTIFUL HEAD AND CAUGHT THE SKULL IN HIS HAND.

BULLHEAD: THIRD RULE: SKULLS ARE THE CURRENCY.

WHEN THIS WAS SAID, ALL THE PALS STARED AT EACH OTHER'S HEADS AND BEGAN TO CUT THEM OFF.

RAT-RAT: FOURTH RULE: WE PLAY KING OF THE HILL ALL DAY... WITH AXES.

BIF-BIF: FIFTH RULE: NO NERDS.

THE SMALL GROUP OF NERDS THAT ALWAYS FOLLOWS THAT PALS WERE SHAKING AND STUDYING IN THE CORNER. THEY SCREAMED LIKE WIMPS AS THE PALS DEVOURED THEM AND TOOK THIER SKULLS.

FART-FART: SIXTH RULE: THINGS SUCH AS COUNTRY MUSIC, SOCCER, AND POKEMON ARE CURSE WORDS HERE.

ALL THE PALS BEGAN CURSING.

BEARD-BEARD: SEVENTH RULE: ANYONE WITH A BEARD WILL BE LEADER.

ALL THE PALS HAD BEARDS SO THEY ALL CLAPPED AGAIN, BUT THEY WEREN'T SURE WHY.

RODATOTE: FINAL RULE: THERE SHALT BE A CONSTANT BATTLE ON THIS ISLAND, AND IF YOU EVER STOP BATTLING, A BATTLE WILL BEGIN AGAINST YOU.

THE PALS CHEERED AND BATTLED UNTIL THEY DIED.

POOP-IN-MOUTH: I FIND URINE AND FECIS TO BE VERY THIRST QUENCHING.

TICKLISH BILLSON: WE ARE STRANDED HERE, HOW WILL WE EVER GET OFF. WE NEED SUPPLIES.

THE PALS WENT HOME QUICKLY AND GOT SUPPLIES. THEN THEY RETURNED.

GOAT-GOAT: WE ARE CURSED TO DIE ON THIS FORSAKEN ROCK!

BBBBBBB: GOSH, WE NEED A DISCO.

THE PALS GOT BORED AND WENT HOME BECUASE THEY DISCOVERED THAT THE ISLAND WAS ACTUALLY MADE OF WATER AND THE OCEAN WAS DIRT. SO THEY JUST WALKED HOME.