SETTING: 46 QUBEY ROBOTS ARE ATTACKING THE EARTH. ALL OF THE PALS ARE DISGUISED AS TOOTHBRUSHES TO BLEND IN WITH THE SURROUNDINGS OF THE PLANET ZORTAG QUAZTAR.
MORTOK-MORTOK: I OWN THE OLD MAN THAT'S STANDING OVER THERE. DO YOU SEE HIM? HE IS DISGUISED AS A WOMPA FROM THE BROTH QUADRANT OF DYLOCTOPOS GALAXY. MOPO ON GOGO.
MEAT-MEAT: GO HANG A SALAMI!
TEAM-TEAM: I'M A LASAGNA HOG!
ALFREDO: HEY PALS, MY RUMPLY TUMMY IS RIPE TO BE PICKED. ANYONE WANT TO GO FOR A RIDE ON THE ALFREDO BALLOON?
GENGIS McKORTHWAG: ME!!! ME!!!
SO GENGIS HOPPED ON TO ALFREDO'S TUMMY AND TOGETHER THEY FLOATED AWAY TO THE CLOUDS. THEY WERE STRUCK BY LIGHTENING AND ALFREDO POPPED AND THEY PLUMMETED TO THEIR DEATHS. THEY LANDED ON BULLHEAD AND ALL OF THE GUYS THOUGH IT WAS A RIOT.
BULLHEAD: HA, HA, VERY FUNNY. JUST WAIT TILL IT'S YOUR TURN TO HAVE HIM FALL ON YOU, THEN IT WON'T BE SO FUNNY.
SUDDENLY MULTIPLE ALFREDOS FELL FROM THE CLOUDS AND SMASHED EVERYONE EXCEPT FOR BULLHEAD.
BULLHEAD: HEY, THAT IS KIND OF FUNNY!
SETTING: ALL OF THE PALS ARE AT THE ZOO. THEY ARE WATCHING THE TIGERS THAT ARE DOWN BELOW THEM IN A CAGE.
MICK-MICK: IT WOULD NOT BE FUNNY IF I FELL IN THERE, WOULD IT?
MUHODIUM PUSHED HIM IN AND MICK-MICK WAS QUICKLY DEVOURED BY TIGERS AS THEY TORE OPEN HIS SKIN AND FED ON HIS INTERNAL ORGANS.
MUHODIUM: YES IT WOULD!!!!
THEY ALL HAD A GOOD LAUGH AND THEN WENT ON TO THE RHINO PEN.
MUHODIUM: I BET THAT I COULD BEAT UP THOSE RHINOS!
MUHODIUM CLIMBED INTO THE PEN AND THE RHINOS FORMED A CIRCLE AROUND HIM. THEY CHARGED AT HIM AND HE PULLED OUT HIS AXE. THE RHINO NEAREST TO HIM WAS SLAIN INSTANTLY. SOON THERE WAS A BRAWL SO GREAT THAT ALL OF THE PALS JUMPED THE FENCE AND JOINED. THE ZOOKEEPERS CAME TO TRY TO BREAK IT UP, BUT WHEN THEY SAW HOW GREAT OF A BRAWL IT WAS, THEY PULLED OUT WHIPS. SOON EVERYONE WAS DEAD AND GROUNDSKEEPER CHILLY WILSON CAME ALONG AND SCOOPED UP THE SPARE FLESH.
CHILLY WILSON: HMM, THIS WILL MAKE A GREAT ZEBRA SNACK FOR LATER.
CHILLY WILSON SHOVED A CHUNK OF FLESH IN HIS POCKET JUST IN CASE HE GOT HUNGRY BEFORE LUNCH.
SUDDENLY THEY ALL BECAME ALIVE AGAIN. THEY TRACKED DOWN CHILLY WILSON TO GET BACK ALL OF THE BODY PARTS THAT THEY WERE MISSING AND THEN WENT ON TO THE SYRUP MEN PEN. THEY WERE ALL GROSS AND STUCK TO EVERYTHING AND SOMEHOW STICKY SAM GOT COUGHT UP INSIDE THERE TOO.
BULLFROG McGOOF: I OWN FORTY WOODEN LEGS. IF YOU EVER LOSE A LEG, OR IF ONE GETS STOLEN, COME AND SEE ME.
MARCO: AHH! MY LEG WAS TAKEN BY THAT RASCALLY THIEF OVER THERE!
THERE WAS A SNEAKY LOOKING BONE GUY IN THE CORNER SEWING MARCO'S LEG TO THE WALL. THEY ALL HATED THAT BONE GUY.
BIG TIM: LET'S HURT THAT GUY!
SO THEY WENT OVER TO HIM AND POUNDED AND KICKED UNTIL THE BONE GUY WAS SCATTERED ACROSS THE GROUND AND THE ANIMALS WERE CHEWING ON THE HUGE BONES. THEN THEY SPOTTED ANOTHER GUY THAT THEY DIDN'T LIKE SO THEY CHASED HIM AROUND TILL THEY CAUGHT HIM AND THREW HIM TO THE TIGERS.
GORGORATH THE DESTROYER: THIS PLANET IS MINE! HEY LOOK! THAT GUY LOOKS STUPID. LET'S GET HIM!
THEY POUNCED ON A CRIPPLED OLD MAN AND BEAT HIS HEAD WITH BONE CLUBS THAT CAME FROM THE FIRST GUY THAT THEY DIDN'T LIKE. AFTER THAT GUY GOT ALL GROSS AND BELLY FAT, THEY WENT TO THE FISH SELLING STORE. THEY BOUGHT SOME FISH AND DARED JENKINS McWISLEY TO SUCK ON ONE FOR TEN MINUTES. HE DID AND HE SAID THAT IT TASTED LIKE HIS PANTS.
MARCO: HEY DUDES! LETS ALL GO AND PLAY STAPLE BALL!
EVERYONE: GOOD IDEA FAT FACE!!!
SO THEY WENT TO THE STAPLE BALL COURT AND PUT ON THEIR STAPLE GUNS AND THE GAME STARTED. STEAM-STEAM HAD THE CLOTHOR FIRST SO EVERYONE WAS TRYING TO STAPLE HIM TO THE FLOOR BUT HE WAS TOO FAST FOR THEM. HE RAN IN BETWEEN THE FORTY YARD LINE WICKET AND GOT A FREE THROW BECAUSE MUHODIUM WAS SHOOTING STAPLES AT ALL OF THE KIDS THAT WERE PLAYING.
MUHODIUM PULLED OUT HIS AXE AND CUT OFF THE KIDS TOUNGES IN ONE WHACK. MUHODIUM HATES TATEL-TALES.
STEAM-STEAM KICKED HIS FREE THROW AND SCORED TWELVE WAVAMOOS FROM THE OPPONANT'S SCORE BOX. THE GAME WAS GOING SMOOTHLY UNTIL MUHODIUM GOT THE SMANE. HE PULLED OUT HIS AXE AND CHARGED DOWN THE FIELD. EVERYONE DOVE FOR COVER AND MOST OF THEM WERE MAIMED. THE REFEREES WERE TOOTING THEIR GAZOONKA'S AND MUHODIUM STOPPED AND CHASED AFTER THEM. HE CAUGHT THEM AND CUT OFF THEIR LEGS. MUHODIUM HATES POOR SPORTS.
Lower case johnno: this bites huge.
BEARD-BEARD: AHH! GORTS! MY BEAST OF A BEARD IS CAUGTH IN THE ELECTRIC PUNKIN SMASHER THING! I'M BEING PULLED IN!!!
WILLY WANER: WHO CARES. YOU'RE A WORTHLESS OLD GOAT.
BEARD-BEARD SUDDENLY TURNED INTO A SAVAGE AND BLEW HIS GOAT HORN, SUMMONING ALL OF HIS SAVAGE CLAN. POOR WILLY WANER WAS SCARED. THE SAVAGES TORE OFF THE WALLS OF THE STAPLEBALL COURT AND HOVERING OUTSIDE WAS A GIANT ELF CANTEEN. IT WAS FILLED WITH SAUCE AND IT SMELLED OF BEART.
MOTH-MOTH: HEY! THAT CANTEEN WANTS TO TELL US A STORY. GO AHEAD CANTEEN.
CANTEEN: OK, ALL GATHER ROUND.
THEY ALL SAT INDIAN STYLE AROUND THE CAMPFIRE AND CANTEEN BEGAN HIS TALE.
CANTEEN: ONCE WHEN I FOUND A SMOTHERED ROGO BROTH IN MY CLOSET, I BEGAN TO FEED IT MUSHROOMS THAT WERE GROWING BEHIND OUR TOILET. SOON IT GREW VERY BIG. IT FILLED THE HOUSE AND SOON DEVOURED ALL OF THE DELICIOUS SHROOMS. I DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING ELSE SO IT ATE MY CAT NAMED FROTHBALL. IT WALKED DOWN THE ROAD AND I SAW IT EAT UP MORTHQUAG MY NEIGHTBOR. SOON IT EXPLODED FROM EATING THE SEWAGE FACTORY DOWN THE ROAD AND IT SMELLED LIKE AN OUTHOUSE IN THE ENTIRE STATE FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR!
KIDS: YEAH! THAT WAS A CLASSIC TALE OF LEPRACHAUNS AND MICROBIONIC TOOLS THAT LIVE TOGETHER AND PROSPER IN A COUNTY THAT IS UNHABITABLE BY ANY OTHER FORM OF CONGRUANT AND ODERLESS LIFE FORMS.
McCLOUDYPANTS:I WET THE BED AGAIN. WILL SOME ONE CHANGE MY SHEETS?
SETTING: ALL OF THE FAMOUS LOUD GUYS ARE AT WAR WITH THE GIK-GIK CLAN. THEY ARE FIGHTING OVER WHO GETS TO LISTEN TO THE TAR PIT GANG SING IN CONCERT.
GOOF-GOOF: WE ARE THE ONES WITH THE MOST SKIN!!!
MOTAK: OH YEAH? LOOK AT ALL OF THIS FLESH!
A HUGE FAT BLUBBER GUY CAME INTO SIGHT. HE WAS DROOLING WITH SLOPPY MEAT AND HE MADE THE GUYS HUNGRY.
MICK-MICK: THAT'S NOTHING, LOOK AT THIS!
ALFREDO WALKED IN AND EVERYONE WAS NOW STARVING FOR FRIED AND SEASONED MEAT. THEY LEAPED ONTO HIM AND TORE OPEN HIS FLESH. THE OTHER FAT GUY TRIED TO RUN BUT THE HUNGRY TINY GUYS HAD FORKS AND HE WAS TORN APART QUICKLY.
MUHAG: THIS GOOD MEAT.
PARTY HOGS: WE HAVE MEAT! HONK, HONK.
BUEFORD: WOW!! THIS IS GOOD FLESH. I THINK I MIGHT MESS UP MY PANTS.
BUEFORD WALKED TO THE OUTHOUSE AND LEFT A GROSS TRAIL OF DRIPS AS HE WENT.
SETTING: ALL OF THE PALS WERE TRYING TO SELL A BUCKET OF HOG FLESH TO A HUNGRY PACK OF IGUANAS.
IGUANA BILL: HEY! WE'LL TRADE YOU SOME GORGEOUS MILK SAUCE FOR A POUND OF JIGLLY HOGS!
THE PALS THOUGH FOR A MOMENT AND THEN BEAT UP THE IGUANAS BECAUSE IT WAS BORING THEM. THEY WALKED OVER TO THE BOWLING ALLEY.
MARCO: I AM THE CHAMP, I GOT 26 IN THIS GAME.
MUHODIUM GOT MAD BECAUSE HE HAD ONLY GOTTON 6. HE PULLED OUT HIS AXE AND CARVED A BUTT ONTO MARCO'S FOREHEAD.
REG-REG: I AM REALLY A BOWLING BALL IN DISGUISE AS A GORGEOUS SLAG!
EVERYONE IN THE ALLEY WAS SILENT AND THEY STARED AT HIM AND THEN BEAT HIM UP. THEY DIDN'T LIKE WHAT HE SAIT ONE BIT.
VROTH-VROTH: HE GUYS! I'M DONE WITH MY BOWLING NOVELS. WANT TO READ THEM?
EVERYONE IN THE ALLEY: YEAH, OF COURSE!!!
VROTH-VROTH: OK, ALL GATHER ROUND. BACK WHEN I OWNED MY FIRST MURGA FROPOS, I HAD SOLD MY OLD PAIR TO A FARMER NAMED HOCK MOOT RICK McBOBOTAG. I ALSO SOLD HIM A PAIR OF GOROS AND THEY GREW UP AND DESTROYED HIS FARM. IT GREW INTO A GORO BREEDING GROUND AND ANYTHING THAT WENT THERE EVERY DAY WAS TURNED INTO A STONE BEAST.
MY NEXT BOOK IS CALLED "FOAMING GROSS LIVER LARD." IT ALL BEGAN WHEN MY TOES GREW TO AN ENORMOUS SIZE. EVERYONE STARED AT THEM WHERE EVER I WENT. I COULD TELL THAT THEY WERE JEALOUS. I SOLD ALL OF MY TOES AWAY. THEN THEY GREW BACK INTO TENTICLES AND ONE OF THEM HAD A FACE ON IT AND IT SPOKE TO ME ONE DAY.
TENTICLE FACE: VROTH-VROTH. I GACE HAD A VISION. YOU WILL WRITE TEN BOOKS ABOUT BOWLING ALLEYS. THEN YOU WILL BE CRUSHED BY A FALLING HORSE FROM THE JIFFY MORTS. THE WORLD WILL FALL UNDER THE RULE OF AN ALIEN NAMED HOOP FORP.
VROTH-VROTH: MY NEXT BOOK IS CALLED, "A SQUISHY BALL OF WRINKLY GOATS." ONE DAY I WAS ON TOP OF MY HOUSE AND THERE WERE TONS OF MANGOS FALLING FROM THE SKY. I CAUGHT ONE AND THREW IT INTO THE AIR AND CASTED A MAGIC SPELL. IT TURNED INTO A JEEP AND FELL THROGH THE ROOF AND KILLED MY PET SQUID. I WENT DOWN AND LOOKED AT MY SQUID. IT STOOD UP AND SPOKE TO ME IN A VISION.
SQUID NAMED BOLYGOGO McPOOLAKS: I HAVE FORESEEN THE ETERNITY AND IT HAS CRUSHED MY BOOGERS. I WILL NOW PERFORM MY NEXT TRICK. I WILL EXPLODE AND OUT OF MY HEAD WILL ERUPT A STENCH OF FRESH BAGELS AND FRUIT POTATOS. IT DIDN'T EXPLODE, INSTEAD IT PUSHED REAL HARD AND THEN EXCUSED ITSELF TO RUN TO THE POT.
KIDS: YEAH!!! THAT WAS A CLASSIC TALE OF ANGRY JUSTICE AND THE LEAGUE OF ORANGE GORILLA LADS CONQUERING AND LIVING AMONG HUMANS AS A RESULT OF WICKED AND ALMOST EXTREME TEMPERATURE INCREASE!!!
HEAT-HEAT: I LIKE THE PART ABOUT THE TEMPERATURE INCREASE. THAT WAS HILARIOUS!!!
SIMON: I AM THE CONQUERING OF THE MINDS. MY MIND IS ETERNITY. I KNOW OF THE FORCE. MY BRAIN IS INFINITE.
BORGY-BORGY: DOES ANYBODY KNOW ANYONE NAMED HOOP FORP?
MARCO: YEAH, MY BROTHER IS NAMED THAT.
MICK-MICK: MY MOM IS NAMED THAT. SO IS MY UNCLE JIMMY WICK.
ALFREDO: I ONCE ATE SOMEBODY WITH THAT NAME. I THINK HE TASTED LIKE APPLESAUCE AND BRAUTWURST PIE.
GORGORATH THE DESTROYER: THAT IS MY MIDDLE NAME. AND MY LAST NAME.
TIMMY THE DONKEY: MY FEET ARE NAMED THAT. SO IS MY SKULL.
VROTH-VROTH: THAT WAS MY FIRST SQUID'S NAME. THEN HE WAS CRUSHED BY MY AUNT WHO WAS ALSO NAMED THAT.
MUHODIUM: I HATE YOU GUYS!
SO MUHODIUM WHIPPED OUT HIS AXE AND SLICED THEIR HEADS OFF. STEAM POURED OUT OF THEIR NECKS AND THEY PRETENDED TO LIKE FOOTBALL FOR TWENTY MINUTES.
SETTING: ALL OF THE PALS WERE IN THE FLAVORED PALACE. THEY WERE EATING EVERYTHING.
ALFREDO: OOPS. I ATE EVERYTHING ON THE PLANET.
MORK-MORK: I OWN FORTY ORANGE BEE LIMBS. IF YOU NEED ONE, COME AND SEE ME.
BROWN BEE POOP: HEY! I'LL GIVE SOMEONE THIS BUCKET OF HOG FLESH IF THEY CAN GIVE ME FORTY ORANGE BEE LIMBS.
MORK-MORK: IT'S A DEAL.
GORTHY McODDMOOFBUGBUG: YOU ARE THE GROSWELL COLLECTOR. COLLOK.
MARCO: HEY! I HEARD THERE IS A BAKE SALE GOING ON DOWN THE ROAD. LET'S ALL BAKE SOME STUFF AND MAKE LITTLE KIDS EAT IT!!!
EVERYONE: THAT'S A GREAT IDEA PIG BREATH!!!
SO THEY ALL WENT HOME AND BAKED UP SOME PIPING HOT PIES AND STEW. THEY RAN DOWN THE BAKE SALE.
MORGWORTH: HEY KID, TRY SOME OF MY ONION AND FRENCH FRY ICE CREAM SOUP!!!
KID: OK.
THE KID ATE IT AND BLEW UP.
MUHODIUM: HEY KID, EAT THIS OR I'LL SLICE OFF YOU FACE AND PUT IT INTO MY STEW LIKE I DID TO THE FIRST KID.
KID: OK.
THE KID ATE IT. IT TASTED A BIT LIKE RAVIOLLIS AND PEANUT BUTTERED SHRIMP CASSEROLE. THEN AGAIN, HE HAD THE AFTER TASTE OF CREAMED GORILLA HAIR, FLAMING HEAD CHEESE, SPICED TORGS, SCRUPTIOUS BEAN GRASS, AND BEAUTIFUL FLOWER PISS.
KID: THIS IS PRETTY GOOD.
MUHODIUM: SHUT UP!!!!
MUHODIUM CUT OFF HIS ARMS AND KNOCKED HIM OVER. MUHODIUM HATES LIARS.
RRROKES: MY LEFTOVER BANANA FLAVORED TUNA FLAP JACKS, AND GOAT LICORICE AND WOODEN TOOTH SYRUP IS REALLY THE HIT OF THE PARTY!!!
TWENTY GUYS DRESSED IN GREEN SOUP LIZARDON COSTUMES CAME AND BOUGHT TEN BUCKETS OF HIS FLAP JACKS.
lower case johnno: why doesn't anybody like me?
SHROOM KING: MY ICE COLD WALRUS VEINS AND FROTHING PYROMANIAC HAIR ISN'T SELLING VERY WELL. MAYBE MY SHIRT IS DRIVING THEM OFF.
HIS SHIRT SAID, "BIRTH IS A FAKE IDEA." AND IT HAD A PICTURE OF FIVE PIRATES SWIMMING IN A POOL OF SOAP.
MOOK-MOOK: I HATE THE SFL!!!
GORGORATH THE DESTROYER: I OWN THIS PLANET. HEY LOOK! THAT GUY THINKS THAT WE LOOK LIKE AVOCADOS!!! LET'S GET HIM!!!
FORT-FORT: THAT'S RIGHT. YOU HIT THE SPOT JACK!
THEY BEAT UP A LITTLE KID THAT WAS PLAYING WITH GORILLA WARRIORS.
FRANCO-FRANCO: I HATE THE AMERICAN DENTAL ASSOCIATION. THEY KEEP SENDING ME PARTY HOGS IN MY TOOTHPASTE.
PARTY HOGS: WE WANT MEAT! HONK, HONK.
BULLHEAD AND CROCKPOT WERE FISHING IN A LAKE WHEN BULLHEAD GOT A BITE. SUDDENLY AN OLD AUSRALIAN MAN CAME OUT OF THE WATER AND HANDED HIM A FINE.
BULLHEAD: HEY YOU!!! GET OUTTA' HERE! PRONTO!
THE AUSTRALIAN MAN LEFT BACK TO ISRAEL. HIS FELLINGS HAD BEEN SERIOUSLY HURT.
SETTING: ALL OF THE PALS WERE AT THE SWIMMING POOL.
MUHODIUM: HEY KIDS GET OUT OF THE WAY!!!
KIDS: SHUT UP!!!
MUHODIUM TOOK OUT HIS AXE AND SLICED ALL OF THE KIDS THAT WERE IN FRONT OF HIM. MUHODIUM DOESN'T LIKE ASSERTIVENESS.
WHEN MUHODIUM GOT IN THE WATER THEY RAN BEFORE HE COULD CATCH THEM. HE SWAM LETHARGICALLY. THEN HE SAW A LITTLE KID ON THE OTHER END OF THE POOL. HE TOOK HIS AXE AND STARTED SWIMMING TOWARDS THE KID. THE KID SAW HIM COMING AND TRIED TO GET OUT, BUT WHEN MUHODIUM WAS A YOUNG LAD HE TOOK SWIMMING LESSONS. HE COUGHT THE LITTLE KID AND SLICED HIM UP, AND HIS FLESH CHUNKS FLOATED AWAY.
ALFREDO: YEAH! FLESH CHUNKS!!!
ALFREDO LEAPED INTO THE WATER AND QUICKLY GRABBED THE CHUNKS OF FLAPPING MEAT. ALL OF THE WATER FLEW UP INTO THE AIR, OUT OF THE POOL AND SOAKED EVERYBODY THAT WAS IN THE POOL ROOM. AND THE PEOPLE THAT WERE WALKING BY ON THE STREETS AND MOST PEOPLE IN TOWN. IT WAS ALSO VERY RAINY IN THE ENTIRE COUNTRY THAT DAY, BUT THAT WAS MOSTLY A COINCIDENCE. AFTER ALFREDO HAD GOBBLED UP THE MEAT, HE GOT OUT OF THE POOL AND ALL OF THE WATER WAS GONE. LITTLE KIDS BEGAN TO CRY. MUHODIUM CHASED THEM WITH HIS AXE. MUHODIUM HATES CRYBABIES.
ALFREDO: HO!HO!HO! BUNGA. ALFREDO TUMMY FULL.
ALFREDO WET HIS PANTS AND AGAIN THE POOL WAS FULL. EVERYONE GOT BACK IN. THEY SWAM FOR TWENTY MINUTES UNTIL THE ALARM SOUNDED. ALL OF THE LIFE GUARDS BLEW THIER GAZOONKAS AND SCUBA DIVERS LEAPED INTO THE POOL. ALL OF THE SWIMMERS FRANTICALLY STRUGGLED OUT OF THE POOL. ROW BOATS WERE PUSHED IN AND HELICOPTERS WITH SPOT LIGHTS SWARMED OVERHEAD. A BLUE GUY WITH A MEGA PHONE STARTED TALKING.
BLUE BOY: EVERYONE EVACUATE THE AREA. A FLOATER HAS BEEN SPOTTED!!!
SUDDENLY A TANK STORMED THROUGH THE WALL AND AN INFINTRY ENTERED WITH RIFLES. THEY STARTED FIRING AT THE CROWD AND A BRAWL SPAWNED. ALL OF THE PALS PULLED OUT THEIR WEAPONS. AFTER ALL, THEY DIDN'T WANT TO WASTE ALL OF THOSE TANKS AND FOOT SOLDIERS WITH RIFLES.
GIGANTIC WORM: I HAVE IT!!! COME HERE YOU LITTLE GRUB.
THE GIGANTIC WORM SCOOPED THE FLOATER INTO A DIXIE CUP AND SLID IT DOWN HIS THROAT. SOON GIGANTIC WORM JOINED THE BRAWL AND EVERYTHING EVAPORATED.