LAST UPDATED: March 9th, 11:04 pm
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CLASSICWEAR WARNINGS: Do not wash CLASSICWEAR clothing. Contact with water may cause clothing to explode. Moving too quickly may cause clothing to catch fire. Direct sunlight will cause clothing to shrink at rapid rate. CLASSICWEAR clothing has been known to cause cavities in teeth and contagious rash of the underarms and face. Do not allow CLASSICWEAR clothing to come into contact with hair, carpeting, skin, grass, darkness, wind, or shadows - doing so may produce hazardous results. CLASSICWEAR Clothing may cause lepracy. Do not wear CLASSICWEAR clothing if you are pregnant, an illegal immigrant, jamaican, breast feeding, or have a low tolerance to poison. CLASSICWEAR clothing has been known to cause cancer, herpes, flu, diarrea, hemeroids, black plague, seizures, colon disorders, profuse sweating and nausea.