SETTING: A WHISPY VILLAGE CALLED MOUNTAINVILLE. ALL OF THE PALS ARE SLEDDING. AND CREATING GAMES.

PINK PIG: OHHHHHH OYYYYYY! MY SLED JUST HIT ME IN THE CROTCH! OHHHHHHH.

MEAT-MEAT: OHHHH MY CROTCH JUST HIT YOUR CROTCH. OHHHHHH. FUN.

GORGEOUS TIM: WELL TWIST MY NIPS, I FEEL LIKE SMASHING YOU ALL IN THE FACE WITH MY FOREHEAD.

SO HE DID. BLOOD WAS RED.

STANKO McTOPE: MY TOOTH FELL OUT BUT I REPLACED IT WITH A CHUNK OF TACO. OH WELL BACK TO SLEDDING AND MURDERING!

CHRISM CATSTEAM: TIMEOUT! THE PILLOW IN MY WIG FELL OUT.

MINT L. OTIS: WUSS. YOU ONLY GET A TIMEOUT IF YOU'RE DEAD. EVEN THEN ITS ONLY A 6 SECOND TIMEOUT THEN WE BEGIN TO RAVAGE YOUR BODY TO PIECES.

MICK-MICK: WHATS THIS IVE FOUND, IN THE SNOW BENEATH OUR BLOOD? ALAS! FOR TIS THE LEGENDARY VELCRO DIAMOND THAT ONLY LEGENDS ARE MYTHS OF.

QUAGGLE-QUAGGLE: LET US USE THIS SQUID DIAMOND TO MAKE US INTO LARGE BEASTS. WE CAN THEN WEAR LOIN CLOTHS AND CLUB PEOPLE AND EAT THEIR BONES. I CALL KING OGRE!

CHIP-CHIP: LET US USE IT TO SHOVE YOUR EYE INTO MY ESOPHAGUS.

MUHODIUM: YOU ARE AN ESO FAGGUS.

GOSH MITTEN: WE SHOULD USE IT FOR SPILLING THE BLOOD OF AN IRISHMAN. FOR A PINT OF ALE AND NICKEL OF WHEAT!

QUI-BLOWN TINKTOTE: WE SHOULD USE ITS POWER TO FOREVER DESTROY LIMES FROM THIS WORLD. CREATING A PERFECT UTOIPA AND SCREWING OVER THE COMPANY OF FRUITOPIA.

SCORPIUS: WE SHOULD USE THE DIAMOND'S POWER TO WAGE A WAR AGAINST ALL OF OUR TWIN BROTHERS!

GRAND-GRAND: ALAS WE HAVE BUT ONE CHOICE. THE PLUFFY DIAMOND MUST BE DESTROYED. WE MUST TAKE IT TO THE CRACK OF DUNG WHERE IT WAS CREATED AND CAST IT BACK INTO THE FIREY CHASM WHENCE IT CAME. THIS IS THE ONLY WAY IT CAN BE UNDONE. BONER!

BIZEL-BIZEL: HOW ABOUT WE USE ITS POWER TO WAGE A WAR AGAINST ALL OF OUR TWIN BROTHERS!

SCORPIUS: YEAH! GOOD IDEA.

THEY LOOKED ACROSS THE HILL AND SAW THEIR TWIN BROTHERS, UGLY AS CAN BE. INDEED A WAR WAS TO BE WAGED AND THE VELCRO DIAMOND WAS THEIR KEY TO VICTORY. IT WAS ALSO THE KEY TO OUR GARAGE.

TWISTY TODD BEAN: MY TWIN BROTHER IS A RED HEADED FREAK WITH RED NIPPLES. I CANT WAIT TO SMEAR HIS FACE ONTO MY FIST AND WEAR IT AS A MITTEN. HOOOOOAAAAAAAR!!!!!!

AND SO THEY CHARGED INTO BATTLE. EACH PAL BATTLED THEIR TWIN BROTHER. IT WAS A FEROCIOUS FIGHT. THE SLEDDING HILL WAS RED WITH BLOOD. MOST OF THE PAIRS OF BROTHERS GOT THEIR HAIR TANGLED TOGETHER. SOME OF THE BROTHERS BEGAN TO DANCE WITH EACH OTHER INSTEAD OF FIGHTING.

CHUCKWAGON: I HATE YOU TWIN BROTHER! I CANT WAIT TO FEAST UPON YOUR BLOATED FACE!

TWIN OF CHUCKWAGON: YOUR BONES ARE MINEEEEEEEEE! YOUR TEETH AND MY FIST WILL BECOME AQUAINTED! THEN THEY WILL BE MARRIED! TRUUUUE LOOOOOOOOVE!!

IT SEEMED THAT THE TWINS WERE WINNING THE FIGHT FOR THEY HAD SOME KIND OF SECRET WEAPON. IT WAS A SWORD CALLED MORNING WOOD WHOSE POWER WAS UNPARALLELED AS FAR AS MAGICAL SWORDS GO. MICK-MICKS TWIN WAS SLASHING PALS LEFT AND RIGHT, THEIR BLOOD WAS GOING STRAIGHT INTO HIS MOUTH AND HE WAS HAPPY.

MICK-MICK: OH TWIN BROTHER. WE BOTH WERE HATCHED FROM THE SAME EGG LAYED FROM OUR ROBOT MOTHER. BUT NOW THERE SHALL BE ONLY ONE OF US. AND MY BUNS WILL SWEAT WITH HAPPINESS! VELCRO DIAMOND... FLIP!

THE VELCRO DIAMOND SHOT FORTH A SHOCKWAVE OF A FART SO MASSIVE THAT IT BLASTED ALL THE TWIN BROTHERS AWAY TO THE DIFFERENT CONTINENTS OF THE WORLD IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER. THE PALS CELEBRATED FOR A FEW MINUTES THEN THEY REMEMBERED THEIR TWINS ALL HAD THIER LUNCH MONEY.

SETTING: JILES AND KOOL CHRIS ARE DISCUSSING THE HISTORY OF MONTAZUMA AND HIS CASTLE.

STIFLE: WILL YOU SHUT UP AND LICK MY RAP ARTIST.

CHESTER STYLECASTLE: I'M NAKED, IS THAT OK?

HOWEVER IT DID NOT MATTER BECAUSE HE WAS ALREADY NAKED.

SHADOWCLEAVAGE: I AM THE MOST POWERFUL WIZARD YOU WILL EVER KNOW, SOMEBODY GET ME A BRA...

PISSY PUTCH: I ONCE WENT TO MR. MONTAZUMA'S CASTLE AND SLIT THE THROATS OF EVERY 60 OF MYSELF.

RAM-RAM-RAM: I AM A TALL TWISTED MAN. MY LAST SHOWER WAS BEFORE I WAS EVEN BORN. IVE WORN THIS HAT FOR ATLEAST 60 DAYS. I CANT TAKE IT OFF BECAUSE MY OILY HAIR HAS FORMED INTO A FINE PASTE WHICH HOLDS IT TO MY SCALP.

STAKE-ME-WELL: YOUR BEARD HAS SKIN IN IT.

RAM-RAM-RAM: I KNOW.

THE PALS TOOK A MOMENT OF SILENCE IN HONOR OF CHAD THE PHANTOM.

FRANK FISH: I WAS JUST ON THE TELEVISION SPEAKING.

MASTER GAFFREY: I ONCE BELIEVED IN ONLY 3 STATES, BUT NOW I BELEIVE ONLY IN KENTUCKY AND MUSHROOMS.

STALEMATE WINTERFRESH: THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE BEST SUITES YOU IN DEATH.

WITHERTOOTH TARFACE: THINKING OF MONTAZUMA AND HIS HISTORY MAKES ME FURIOUS! BLAST YOU AND YOUR HISTORY MONTAZUMA!!!!

WITHERTOOTH'S BODY TURNED TO WATER.

CHRISM CATSTEAM: I AM TRYING AS HARD AS I CAN TO FIGURE THIS OUT. MONTAZUMA'S CASTLE HAS A MYSTERY OF ITS OWN. I HAVE ABOUT THE SIZE OF YOU IN MY WEALTH. ZIP. WOIIIID! CAN YOU COLLECT? OR CAN YOU COINS?

CHRISM CATSTEAM WAS BLOWING BUBBLES IN HIS COAT POCKET.

MUHODIUM: DIE PLEASE. EVERYONE DIE.

ALL THE PALS DIED OF DEATH POISONING.

SETTING: ALL OF THE PALS HAVE ENROLLED IN CLOWN SCHOOL.

GASEOUS JIM: (WOOF) HAHAHA MY BUTT BARKED!

JASHE: MY CLOWN SUIT IS ACTUALLY JUST A TRASH BAG AND PART OF AN OLD DESK. ITS STILL JUST AS FUNNY AS THE NEW HIGH-TECH CLOWN SUITS.

JASHE LOOKED OVER TO A MAN IN A REALLY HIGH TECH CLOWN SUIT THAT WAS MAKING LAZER SOUNDS. A TEAR CAME TO JASHE'S EYE.

PASTE-PASTE: MY CLOWN SUIT IS MADE OF BASEBALL CARDS. I STILL AM MISSING A FEW CARDS TO HAVE THE COMPLETE SET. UNTIL THEN DONT LOOK BELOW MY WAIST.

CHIGGLE-CHIGGLE: MY NAME SOUNDS LIKE AN EXTREME SWEAR WORD. MY CLOWN SUIT IS A HORSE SKIN.

POINTS BELOW: I JUST PASSED MY NORTHERN TEST! IM NOT A CLASSIC BALL UMPIRE! MY CLOWN SUIT IS MADE OF DREAMCATCHERS OF THE WIND TRIBE. COME CHILDREN I SHALL TELL YOU ABOUT MY TORSO AND HOW IT WAS DISCONNECTED FROM MY HEAD AND LEGS!

POINTS BELOW WAS JUST A HEAD WITH LEGS. THERE WAS A CROTCH IN THERE SOMEWHERE.

GOZZLEBOY: I INVENTED CLOWN SUITS. BACK IN THE DAY OF THE EARLY CLOWN SUITS, THEY WERE MADE OF SIMPLY HAIR AND TAPE. SOMETIMES PEOPLE WERE SCARED OF US. INSTEAD OF LAUGHING AS TODAYS CLOWNS DO, WE USED TO GROWL AND SCREAM. WE OFTEN ENDED UP IN THE DOG POUND OR ELSE SHOT.

CHRISM CATSTEAM: I HAVE A LEAD SUIT WITH AN IRON POOP TUBE. THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH CLOWNS.

CHICKEN CHICHE: I LOVE CHILDREN.

THEY LOOKED TO CHICKEN CHICHE AND HE WAS A GRANDMA WITH TWO WINGS FLUTTERING TOWARDS HELL.

MILLER: HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF LUXEMBURG? WAIT, I DIDNT MEAN TO ASK YOU THAT AT ALL. IT JUST POPPED OUT. I MEANT TO ASK YOU SOMETHING TOTALLY DIFFERENT. HOW MANY DID I MISS YOU BY RIGHT THEN?

ZINKBEAN: IM MAKING TICKETS FOR OUR CIRCUS. IM SPELLING IT AS "KIRCUS".

HELLWHEELS: ITS HOT IN HERE. HAVE YOU OPENED THAT WINDOW TO SALVATION YET? CUZ IM NOT SALIVATING.

CROCKPOT: EVER SINCE MY FIRST DAYS OF CLOWNING, MY RED NOSE PLOMPED DOWN THE DOGGY BIN AND IVE BEEN WEARING THIS ORANGUTANG IN ITS PLACE. EVERYONE MEET BORIS. YOU MIGHT NOTICE HE HAS NO LIMBS. NOR DOES HE HAVE A BODY NOR HAIR. FACTUALLY HE IS SKIN AND ORGANS AND ONE EYE. AND SEVEN BUTTS. AND A CROTCH.

GOY-GOY: I AM AN IDIOT WITH TWO BREATHS OF PERFUME COMING OUT OF MY OSTRILS. MY BOSTRILS!

BLINKY THE PARROT: GUACAMOLE IS WHAT MY SUIT IS MADE OF. EVERYONE GRAB A CHIP TO DIP! AND PLEASE START LOW!

RED TODD: I HAVE MOLDED A SCULPTURE OF BOLKK, THE GREATEST NORTHERN UMPIRE TO EVER GRACE THE EASTERN FEILD. AND I HAVE MADE MY CLOWN SUIT OUT OF GORGEOUS MEN WITH CROTCHES APLENTY.

THEY ALL ITCHED THEIR CROTCHES FOR GOOD MEASURE.

SETTING: CHEENWIG AND HIS PALS ARE GROWING IN NUMBERS.

MICK-MICK: WHATS ANOTHER GOOD THING ABOUT LIFE?

CHAD THE PHANTOM: STYLE.

PRINCE RAGS: PORSCHE.

GORGEOUS TIM: CUDDLING.

CHRISM CATSTEAM: BENAL CODE.

MICK-MICK: SO WHAT SHOULD WE DO ABOUT CHEENWIG AND HIS PALS. THEY ARE GROWING STRONGER EVERYDAY AND BECOMING MORE THREATENING TO OUR PALHOOD.

MEAT-MEAT: KILL.

RAD MINKWELL: YES KILL THEM.

CHRISM CATSTEAM: BENAL CODE.

SO ALL THE PALS KILLED CHEENWIG AND HIS PALS. AND JUST TO BE SAFE THEY ASSASINATED THE KING OF EUROPE.